The celebration of Father's Day can be complicated for some. Sadly, not everyone has had a father they feel inspired to celebrate. Many fathers were absent altogether, while others were dangerously present, leaving their children secretly wishing they were not there. So when the holiday comes, the platitudes found on Hallmark cards don't apply for too many dads and too many hearts are scarred or empty.
Then there are the others--those who had the amazing fathers the Hallmark cards were truly written about. I was listening to a radio show earlier this week about those fathers. It was really a beautiful show. They were talking about a book recently published by Christian music artist, Michael W. Smith, called "The Way of the Father." The subtitle of the book is "Lessons from My Dad; Truths about God." As I understand it from the radio show, it is a book that shares how Michael W. Smith learned about the character of his heavenly Father through the example he saw in his earthly father. After discussing the book, callers were then invited to phone in to share more stories like Michael's, of dads who reflected and taught the character of God. I love hearing stories like that--those of godly legacy passed down through generations...stories of stable, loving homes that establish strong foundations in the hearts of those raised in them.
Like so many, however, my story was not like that. My "daddy story" was much more of the complicated kind than the heartwarming kind. So as the radio show went on and I listened to story after story of amazing dads, I found it hard not to think of others with stories like mine, who might be listening and feeling the pain and loss of what they did not have instead of joy for Michael and the others. My heart went out to them. The juxtaposition of their story against the others only draws attention to what they were lacking. For many, hearing stories like these only highlights and intensifies the emptiness they feel.
So why didn't I feel that way, I wondered. I don't have the incredible legacy story that Michael W. Smith has, but hearing his story doesn't cause me to feel the pain of what I didn't have. As I thought about it more, God began to show me the beautiful reason why--that He is not limited to revealing His character only through those who reflect it in their example. My heavenly Father was able to reveal Himself even through my broken, complicated, and dysfunctional earthly father. I did not see God in who my father was, but I came to know the character of God through who my father wasn't. God was revealed through my imperfect father.
Through my father's anger and violence, I came to know God's tender comfort. Through my father's volatile impatience, I learned of God's longsuffering love. When my father expected perfection from everyone and everything, I found solace in God's amazing grace for my weaknesses and faults. In my father's brokenness and sin, God's merciful forgiveness was made clear. I learned the power and beauty of the gospel through what my father missed. God filled every void that my father left for me. He was and is everything that my father was not.
That is why I don't have to feel loss on Father's Day. I don't have to feel pain when I hear the stories of those "other" kinds of dads because my Father in heaven meets every need of my heart and my life. There is nothing I lack because of Him.
